Couples Therapy & Counselling
Most couples feel excited when they first get together, fall in love, or get married; difficulties usually arise over time, when couples start to see ALL aspects of each other, rather than just those that initially drew them to one another.
In addition, stress from work, finances, parenting, in-laws, and sex can take a toll and cause rifts between partners. Partners may grow apart gradually as a result of feeling disconnected and/or when either partner is not getting their needs met. For some couples, communication starts to break down or always seemed to be an issue.
This is a crucial time in a relationship where couples counselling and therapy can really help – couples who are married can also consider marriage counselling services which are close in nature to our couples counselling, but specifically for married couples feeling like their marriage is lacking.
Many unhappy couples feel stuck but this does not mean that a relationship cannot be saved. Partners must make the concerted effort to give the relationship proper attention. The first step is for both partners to acknowledge that their relationship needs help. This is relevant to all kinds of couples, not just those that are married. If you are in any long term relationship, then couples therapy may be what you need to get your relationship back on track.
Unfortunately, effective communications skills do not always come naturally. By combining both talk and behavioural techniques, you will develop the right habits to better communicate, problem-solve instead of blame, enhance intimacy, and strengthen the partnership bond. When necessary, treatment will include a sex therapy component.
Finding Answers through Couples Counselling
Communication Issues And Anger: During relationship counselling, I help couples identify the different ways that they may be communicating, and how this impacts upon the relationship. For instance, one member may attack while the other withdraws. Or a couple may use the attack and counter-attacks method. This can lead to an escalation of anger and aggression with both parties trying to gain a superior position and have the final word. Or there is the ‘attack defence’ method where one partner regularly criticises while the other takes the defending position.
Constant arguments: will eventually lead to stonewalling where both parties stop communicating and slowly drift into loneliness and disconnection. As a couples counsellor, I will help you to identify the communication issues in your relationship and assist you in finding more effective ways to connect. Whichever way you argue you may end up feeling alone.
Power Issues And Control: Often couples enter into relationship counselling due to a power imbalance in their relationship. A power imbalance may be economic or emotional. An economic power imbalance is where one member of the relationship controls all the finances and regulates the behaviour of the other through the withholding or distributing of funds.
Emotional power imbalance: One member may feel that they are constantly meeting the needs of their partner while their own needs are never met. Or one party may feel that to keep the peace, they never voice their opinion, and their feelings are never considered in the decision-making process.
I have practised couples counselling for many years and I have had extensive experience in assisting clients to rebuild their lives, together. I also assist clients to recognise the signs that lead to the breakdown of their relationship. Through relationship counselling, I can assist you to untangle the complex thoughts, emotions and behaviour that have led to the crisis